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Post by Pomona Ollivander on Mar 24, 2016 22:44:40 GMT
"Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other."
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Post by Cecily Crouch on Mar 24, 2016 22:53:14 GMT
"You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold.."
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Post by Morgan Slughorn on Mar 26, 2016 19:28:00 GMT
"with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday"
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Post by Amal Khalid Shafiq on Mar 26, 2016 20:01:12 GMT
"You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea..."
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Post by Magdalena MacBoon on Mar 27, 2016 22:11:12 GMT
"Swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph"
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Post by Kalliope Shafiq on Apr 5, 2016 14:31:54 GMT
"Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend."
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Post by Amal Khalid Shafiq on Apr 5, 2016 15:22:09 GMT
"I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?"
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Post by Kalliope Shafiq on Apr 5, 2016 15:41:46 GMT
"Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day."
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Post by Amal Khalid Shafiq on Apr 5, 2016 16:18:15 GMT
"She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs"."
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Post by Kalliope Shafiq on Apr 5, 2016 16:46:32 GMT
"All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber" "
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Post by Amal Khalid Shafiq on Apr 5, 2016 17:51:44 GMT
"I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her."
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Post by Kalliope Shafiq on Apr 5, 2016 18:03:41 GMT
"Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you."
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Post by Pomona Ollivander on Apr 5, 2016 20:01:42 GMT
"Maybe that's why I'm perpetually single. I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine"
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Post by Diarmad MacFusty on Apr 5, 2016 20:12:38 GMT
"My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life"
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Post by Pomona Ollivander on Apr 5, 2016 20:33:19 GMT
"I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish"
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